Vagina-Alternate Definitions


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The most influential force in the known universe, the vagina is stronger than the five fundamental physical forces (gravity, strong and weak nuclear, electro-magnetic, Rayner Administration foreign policy) combined. the vagina is lined with razor sharp teeth . It is also very formidable, except Katie Rayner likes them. It is thought to be the portal to God (at least according to Katie Rayner). Approximately one-half of the terrestrial human population is afflicted by the mysterious force, while the other half spends the majority of their young adult lives trying to access it momentarily.

Vaginas sometimes have sex with their poop from the usual raw meat to include cheese, a change which transforms the creature into what is known as a "cheesy vagina." The vagina becomes more irritable after this transformation, and may indeed temporarily lose its appetite for raw meat entirely. The term vagina also typically refers to cities, states or countries with the characteristics of a vagina. For example, TorontoOntario in the summer can be considered a vagina because it is hot (near body temperature), humid (90%+ relative humidity), smells like rotting garbage (unwashed), and additionally gives birth to all Canadian hubris (reproductive function). Similar conditions exist for countries such as Taiwan ROC and states such as Florida in the summer.

The world's leading expert on vaginology, Dr Condoleeza Rice, has suggested that the vagina's true purpose lies in the fabled "pussy fart", in which the vagina forces out a mysterious hydrocarbon gas capable of killing millions by means of hornification. Because of its overall deadliness, none have been able to analyse it in its entirety. All that is speculated is that if the atmosphere reaches critcal levels, massive horniness could be achieved and that in the case of such an event all men and homosexual females -- everyone who ever lusted after pussy -- will die. Vaginas are sometimes thought to have a mind of their own.

Although it generally controls all of their functions, females are occasionally able to overcome the force of the vagina and use it as a suctioning device, removing all property and monetary assets from any man that may be attached. This action is generally referred to as a pussywhipping, referring to Admiral H. T. Pussy, whose female's pussy actually grew bullwhips to remove the money from his wallet by force. Males who believe they may be in danger of a pussywhipping are advised to dangle a diamond, credit card, or pair of shoes in front of the vagina, in order to increase its strength over the female's mind and keep her placated.

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