I believe there are many women and young girls who stay in abusive relationships because their romantic other does not hit them. There for all the other acts they do are somehow "okay."

I don't believe movies and TV always do a good job of showing the different types of abuse either. Often the abuse itself is very obvious and blatant. With the aggressor being the obvious "bad guy." In real life emotional abuse can start out rather harmless looking at first. Not something you would really notice under the heat and strong emotion of being in love. Besides that, emotional abusers can be very, very charming. Remember that they make a life out of controlling and having power over their victims. They are often the type of people you would never suspect of being abusers. Everyone often loves them and will even defend them till the bitter end.

Another little known fact about abusers is that they see their own actions and motives reflected in everybody else. Because they want to control you, they assume those around you are trying to do the same. And because they see you as a sex object and not as a real person, they also assume other men do as well. Everybody in your life becomes a threat to an abuser. This attempt to control your social life can be a very subtle thing at first. Whenever you become close to somebody else, your mate might suddenly have some sort of "crisis" that requires your immediate attention. They might accuse you of abandoning them in their moment of need or not needing them any more. As time goes on these acts of control will become more and more obvious. Even absurd. But in the end it becomes easier to simply be alone than to deal with the abusers wrath. And, in an ironic twist, the only person you have left to cling to is them.

It is important to understand that an abuser has a very idealistic view of both you and themselves. They are also very afraid of being alone. They will tear you down to nothing to make sure you will not leave them for anybody else.

Abusers can be spouses, friends, family or bosses.


They may put you on a pedestal. But they will bind and gag you to keep you there.

by Anonymous

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