I'd just love to be a guy, I hate all this girl shit!

Sexuality has always been a difficult thing for me. I became aware of an attraction for girls when I was in junior high.  At first I truly believed I was a lesbian.  Then I realized that I still liked guys too.  In high school I found that I could turn my sexuality on and off like a switch.  One day I could walk in and be attracted to girls. The next day I could walk in and like guys.  It was something I was very much in control of.

Though it may sound a little crazy to you, I was also not very attracted to either gender at all.  Sure, I can "imagine" being with somebody, but when it actually comes to wanting to do the deed in real life, that's a whole other story.  The idea of being in a relationship with a guy or girl does not really do a whole lot for me.  (I'm in my 20s) The thought of being somebody's girlfriend seems kind of "wrong" and annoying for me.  I'm not very girly.  And the female role more or less gets on my nerves.

I'm attracted to guys on more of a physical (in fantasy alone, remember) level.  I don't really like their personalities or them as people.  While other girls look at them and find them so adorable, I can't help thinking how shallow and dumb they can be.  And I DO NOT like the way they treat girls.  Who wants to be the vagina that "helped a guy get laid?"  It's SUCH a turn off.

I like girls on more of an emotional level.  But I can't really say I'd ever want to date one.  I just don't think it's really for me.

You could say that I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I like guys on a physical level.  I just don't care for them as people.  And I like girls more as people.  But I wouldn't really want to go steady with one.

Sometimes I'd just love to be a guy.

I hate all this girl shit.

by Anonymous

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