Nobody has ever licked my anus and I am desperate for this to happen.

Between the ages of 9 and 10 my best friend and I had our own world full of sexual role play. I was a man, she was my wife. We kissed in a way I have never kissed anyone else since - it was so new and raw. In our world we went from a first date to marriage and kids - with a lot of humping on the way.

With another friend, around age 11 and 12, we started to discover more about our anatomy, conducting our own investigations into our vulvas, how tampons are used, whether we would be able to have sex. It was all very scientific and practical and, er, rather hands on!

I am 24 now and currently single. Since then I have only had meaningful relationships with women and have not had full sex with a man, just everything leading up to it, although the opportunity has presented itself many times - I have always changed my mind. I can now still only see my self in relationships with women but my sexual fantasies are purely focused on men. These fantasies are usually in my dreams - rough sex, my face being pushed against a wall while being taken very roughly from behind, etc. My sexual relationships with women have always been very intense - strap ons, etc - so I do not consider myself a virgin in any way. I can still only mostly think about men though, in a sexual context.

The first time I masturbated to orgasm, I was 13, in bed at night, just playing with myself down there like I normally did every night. I remember it very clearly because I achieved orgasm through using my fingers inside me, which I do not recall ever being able to achieve since then. Nobody else has ever given me an orgasm - during sex, I enjoy full, deep penetration, but can only orgasm through rubbing my clit. Nobody else has even rubbed my clit right either. I'm very much of the opinion that if you want something doing right, do it yourself.

I have had various masturbatory obsessions and techniques since then, such as rubbing on the corner of the mattress, shower heads, inserting a variety of objects, drawers full of sex toys - many broken rampant rabbits - and my life long best friend the electric toothbrush (always while sat on the toilet with my legs wrapped around the back of it). I have to remain very still and rarely make any noise. I often breathe very slowly or hold my breath altogether.

I have looked at porn since the age of 15 but it is only lately that I've discovered how much I love watching short videos online of amateur couples. My favourite thing to watch is anal sex, nothing turns me on more than this, along with reading stories about it. Generally I simply rub my clit round and round, holding off a few times before I come very hard. I HATE it if I come before a video has finished or before I've finished a story because as soon as I have come this way (from watching porn or reading a story about forced anal sex) I feel incredibly guilty, which simply annoys me, as I know I have nothing to feel guilty about. I suddenly feel very stupid and exposed, like somebody knows I did it. I'm working on trying to ignore that.

I love being fisted with looooads of lube while I rub my clit very hard and fast, with no lube on that - I like the friction sometimes. It feels incredible, although I once came so hard I almost broke someone's thumb with my clenching.

Nobody has ever licked my anus and I am desperate for this to happen.

I have incredibly sensitive nipples (I can almost come from stimulation of these alone) and as I have very large breasts, in the right position I can lick, suck and bite them which sends me crazy. I do prefer to have someone doing this to me though!

I also have a niggling desire to have my clit and pussy licked by a dog. I have no desire to engage in any other sexual activity with animals, I simply want to experience it once.

Of course, I'd rather not be single and just have a girlfriend who can do that instead...not that it would make me come...I wish I could do that myself too!

Typing all that out was an incredible release. Gotta find me some porn now!




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