Teen Agers, Love And Lust

For as long as I can remember, I've known what sex was, in theory at least. When I was little, I was curious about what I was made of and how I worked (How does food give you energy? What are fingernails for? etc.). My parents let me look at anatomy books to see all the different things my body did and how they did them, and looking at pictures of males and females lead smoothly into my discovery of sex. I can't remember if my parents explained it or if I read it. Still, the concept of sex was not one I dwelled on. It was something to be thought about (and perhaps done) far into the future. I don't think I masturbated at all until months after I got my period. I had crushes in elementary, but they were not sexual. I thought of hugging and kissing and that sort of thing, but sex was the untouchable domain of grownups. Once puberty hit, however, I became obsessed. I fantasized about my crush all the time, and as this fantasy became old I added new ones, closer to the realm of dreams. Recently, I came to the conclusion that I was bi, and this has led me to experience even stronger desire. I have a bit of a fetish for straight, silky hair. One of my friends has hair like this, and it takes an insane amount of willpower to keep myself from running my fingers through it. Guys are great and their allure has not faded, but there are times when I want a girl so bad the sensation borders on serious physical pain. I didn't experience sexual desire at a young age, but I think I'm making up for lost time. I want and want and want and it doesn't stop. I'm in love, I'm in lust, I'm a teenager and what I want is no longer what is good for me.

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