Being a woman, I thought I knew everything there was to know about female sexuality. I mean, hey, I am woman. But I had always heard of this infamous female ejaculation, that was supposedly different than just having an orgasm. I heard stories from my male friends about women they had been with that had ejaculated. And when I would ask them to describe it, I would get similar responses: "It squirts out. It’s very wet. It’s liquid. It’s clear in color. It almost looks cloudy. It’s very warm." I still wasn’t convinced, I mean it sounded like my friends got peed on. So I was on a quest. What is this liquid and if it is female ejaculate, where does it come from and can I do it too? So I did some research and this is what I found.

Female ejaculation is an orgasm that not every woman is aware of and that, as a result, may bring about some very intense emotions. Those that can do it don’t know what to do with it or feel ashamed of it. Some of the women that I spoke to that could do it didn’t want to because once they did, the men became upset and felt that they were urinated on. And as I learned, this is just not true. In fact, if you do get involved with a woman that can, she is a special woman.

It is a very personal thing though. The way they do it and the amount of fluid they produce can be different. The amount can range from just a few drops to spewing like a man to, more severe, a shower of it.

So where does it come from? There are several theories, but the one thing that seems to remain consistent is that female ejaculation is worked up in the spongy area around the female urethra, better known as the G-spot. It’s located at the upper part of the vagina, just behind the entrance at the back of the pubic bone. It does actually feel like a little sponge. When stimulated over a long period of time, this sponge fills up with fluid. Some women also told me that it kind of feels like they’re urinating, although they know it’s not coming from the same place. It does originate from the same general area, which is why they feel that way. But this is where the confusion comes in.

Women’s urethra, like men’s, supposedly closes up during sexual activity. There have been many studies. All are basically left with the a question mark and the reader draws their own conclusion. So instead of boring you with every little detail, I’ll give you the general wrap up of all the experiments. So the similar chemicals that have been found in all experiments are a high level of glucose and an enzyme, prostatic acid phosphatase, which is characteristic of the prostatic component of semen (whatever that means) and two substances commonly found in urine, urea and creatinine, which were found at lower levels than in the subject’s urine. (So, okay, there is some urine substance in female ejaculate, from what they’re saying.)

Some have also come to the simple solution that in some women it is very similar to urine and in others it is similar to the fluid produced by the prostate in men. And still more think it may come from a gland located at the opening of the urethra in the vulva.

So, wow! I believe from all the research that I’ve done, is that it probably is a little bit of both: prostate type fluid and urine. But hey, sex is supposed to be fun and exciting. If your woman gets so damn excited that she pees on herself, you should take it as quite the compliment.

We will discuss it in a separate article, but I have also learned that g-spot stimulation is not the only way to make it happen. A lot of first timers will ejaculate from that type of stimulation, but it is not necessary in those women that can.

There are some useful tips, in dealing with a female ejaculator. If you are both into bondage, by all means tie her down. The movements will be extremely strong, unexpected, uncontrolled and sometimes can be spasmodic. Also, spread the bed with lots and lots of towels, because you do not know how much fluid may come out, but there’s a fair chance it will easily fill up two or three layers of towel. And please be safe about it. The fluid may spray around like a fountain. Do not worry. If the fluid does contain the HIV virus, it is killed within seconds after it has left the body and exposed to a temperature lower than the average body temperature. But do avoid accidentally getting it on your lips and in your eyes, just to be safe.

What is a female orgasm?

I'm writing this explanation in the assumption that you - the reader - are male. But what follows will be of interest to a lot of female readers too. What happens in a woman's body during a climax is very like what happens in your (male) body when you ejaculate. In other words, there's a feeling of increasing excitement, building up to a point where everything 'blows' in a great blast of ecstasy. This 'orgasmic moment' is characterised by surges of contractions in the sex organs, occurring almost every 0.8 seconds.

Men are well aware that these throbs of pleasure are accompanied by the pumping out of spurts of seminal fluid. Obviously this doesn't happen in women. A few females do produce some fluid at orgasm, but the impression given in so many erotic stories that most women 'ejaculate' is not correct. Only a minority of females do this.

Multiple orgasm

The other big difference between male and female orgasm is this: after the first climax, many women can 'come' again, often within a minute or two. This ability is extremely rare in males. Relatively few young women can achieve multiple orgasm, because it's an ability that usually has to be learned. But with the help of a skilled lover, most women can eventually achieve the capacity for multiple orgasms - if they so desire.

Bringing the female to a climax

For men perhaps the most important thing to realise about female climaxes is that with females, it's not a mechanical thing - as it generally is with men. You see, most males will ejaculate quite quickly if they have their penises rubbed. This applies even if the circumstances aren't very romantic - or even if they don't particularly like the person who's doing the rubbing! Women are not like this! Female orgasm isn't a push-button response. The conditions have to be right. Although females vary, in general, they need the following if they're going to reach a climax:

-a romantic atmosphere for your female mate

-pleasant, comfortable surroundings for your female mate

-a partner who they really like

-a feeling of being wanted and appreciated for your female partner

-a good flow of natural lubrication - so that the delicate female parts don't get sore

-a skilled partner who knows how to stimulate the clitoris.

Unless you can provide the above, you are not going to have great success in giving your partner orgasms. Please bear in mind that - contrary to what many men think - sexual intercourse by itself is not likely to produce an orgasm. This is because intercourse alone is not very good at stimulating the woman's clitoris. Nearly all females need additional stimulation of the clitoris by fingers or mouth.

What to do

In summary, here's what to do if you want to bring your partner to orgasm regularly:

-don't be in a rush.

-don't be too demanding - it's not an Olympic event.

-talk to your partner, and ask her what she wants you to do to her.

-always create a romantic atmosphere.

-make sure that everything is comfortable and nice for her.

-give her lots of kisses and cuddles before you even think about making any approach to her sexual area.

-when you do start to stroke, rub or kiss her genitals, don't rush into 'attacking' her clitoris. Take things gently, and see what she wants.

-use her own natural lubrication to moisten her clitoris. (If she is over 40, it may be a good idea to use some additional lubrication from a chemist or a sex shop).

-remember that stimulation of the clitoris is the key to female orgasm.

A man's erection is likely to alternate between harder and softer during sexual intercourse. If he's wearing a condom, it is very likely that the condom will slip off from time to time if this happens. Men can usually feel when that is happening, and, if they are responsible, they will withdraw and put another condom on when they get hard enough again. That's why it's a good idea to have a good supply of condoms around when partners decide to have sexual intercourse.

If a condom slips off during sex, it is possible for ejaculate to spill out. If the condom with ejaculate in it slips off inside a woman's vagina, it is possible she can become pregnant or infected with a sexually transmitted infection. A woman who is concerned about unintended pregnancy after a condom breaks or slips off may want to consider using emergency contraception pills (ECPs) to reduce her risk of pregnancy.

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