Sex Drive FAQ

Sex Drive FAQ

FAQ.What affects an individual’s sexual drive?

Many factors including complex social, emotional, psychological, and biological issues affect an individual’s sex drive. For instance, stress, fatigue, illness, age and medications are some obvious factors. Also, it may be a sign that the relationship is not healthy. Perhaps the relationship was not the best to start with and, once the original sexual enthusiasm faded, the relationship began to suffer. The relationship may lack communication or growth. Relationship issues may sometimes be difficult to identify and can often be uncovered with the help of a counselor.

FAQ.Many magazines state that a good sex life is crucial to a healthy relationship. Is this true? My partner is not the best or most exciting sex partner, so my sex drive is a lot lower than it has ever been. Sometimes I worry it will affect our relationship. Is this a concern that will go away with time? Should I just accept the situation?

It may be easier to improve the sex life than to improve the relationship, but they are very closely related. If you and your partner cannot talk about your sexual needs, wants, and differences, there are probably other aspects of your relationship that are not very healthy. Simply “accepting the situation” can lead to resentment. There are differences in sex drive between individuals, and this is normal. Just interpreting what determines “a good sex life” may differ wildly between and among individuals! There is no one right answer. Sex issues also can be negotiated between partners so that each gets what they need and is satisfied. You may find it helpful to speak with a counselor.

FAQ.What signs indicate that an individual thinks about sex too much? What criteria are used to examine whether or not someone may have an addiction, great or mild, to sex?

As with other addictions, the definition basically revolves around the effect of the behavior on your life. For most people, sex is a pleasurable part of a relationship. For addicts, it is often a driven, compulsive, hidden activity that is impossible to give up even after experiencing negative consequences. To think about sex often is common and normal, especially for young people. To need to have sex to feel important and powerful, to abuse someone to feel satisfied, or to have sex to reduce stress may be some signs of sexual addiction.

FAQ.Does excessive masturbation have harmful side effects?

This depends on your definitions of excessive and harmful. Learning what feels good for you is positive. However, if masturbation is your only form of sexual stimulation, it may become difficult to find pleasure without masturbating, and that could be limiting. Harmful can have many meanings. Excessive friction or chaffing can irritate skin. People who come from families holding strong beliefs that masturbation is immoral may experience shame or fear associated with masturbating.

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